Making Your New Years Resolutions STICK!!
Here’s a good article from a life coach on making sure your New Years resolutions stick this time!
3 Quick Tips to Ensure That You Achieve Your Goals in 2010
By: Christopher L King
Although statistics may suggest that fewer people are creating goals for the new year, I would still like to believe that there is a large number of us that believe that there is some benefit to establishing personal targets for our lives. Besides, if we don’t set goals, how do we measure our progress? Unfortunately—as some of our non-goal-setting friends have already discovered—even though we may set goals for the new year, it is still not guaranteed that we will have any form of success. As a matter of fact, out of all of the individuals that set new year’s resolutions for 2010, only 20 percent of them will actually succeed in achieving what they had set out to do. This means that unless you are intentional about succeeding in achieving your goals, odds are that your 2010 goals will soon assume the same fate that they did in 2009 and the previous years. Whether your goal is to lose thirty-five pounds, write your first book, or to start that business that you’ve always wanted, the following strategies are three quick ways to ensure that you achieve your new year’s resolutions:
1. Don’t think about the process.
Thirty-five pounds lighter, your words in print, and you succeeding in the world of entrepreneurship all seem extremely exciting. The end result is always very appealing. However, reality reminds us that the end result requires a sometimes long, arduous, painful, and maybe a boring process. It’s our negative feelings of this process that often restrict us from achieving our many goals. As humans, it is our nature to be attracted to those things that bring us pleasure and to avoid those things that we associate with pain or discomfort. Therefore, as we think about the process that we must go through to arrive at our desired end result, we quickly make the decision to not engage. When focusing on the process, you begin to ask yourself, “Do I feel like going to the gym to workout?” As you may guess, the answer is almost always, “No.” Therefore, don’t think about the process.
2. Think about a specific time in which you are happy that you accomplished your goal.
To encourage you not to think about your goal would be foolish. However, when you do think about the goal, you should think about a specific time in which it provides you with positive feelings. Remember the rule of humans that was mentioned earlier: Humans gravitate to what’s pleasurable and flee from those things that are painful. Therefore, you must think of your goal in a framework that makes you feel good. For example, thinking of how energetic and good you may feel after returning from the gym or, the joy that you experience after you’ve completed a chapter of your first book. Also, it is more helpful if this time period is not in the distant future, such as when you have achieved the final goal. Rather, it should be a period in which you feel good after you have made a smaller step of progress toward the final result.
3. Just start!
Another interesting fact that I have noticed about people is that we often have difficulty changing. This means that once we start something, we often become comfortable in continuing with that particular action. For example, if you are currently sitting comfortably on the sofa at the time that you have scheduled to begin your workout, it is very difficult to change that behavior. While this works with negative and destructive behaviors, it also can prove to be effective when engaging in healthier activities. Therefore, when the time comes to engage in an activity that will push you closer to achieving your goal, just get up and start! I have found that once I begin working out, writing that next chapter, or even handling administrative tasks for my business, it is often difficult to stop. At the least, I will begin with the mental commitment of performing the task for only a short period of time—perhaps, for only ten minutes. But when that ten minute period is finished, I still find it difficult to stop my current activity. So, the next time that you are struggling to perform that task that will move you closer to your goal, I encourage you to simply start.
As you verbally and mentally commit to achieving your goals for the new year, I encourage you to not think about the negative feelings that you have about the process, but about how great it feels to experience progress. And if you simply start, you are sure to experience the success that you are looking for and you will then be a part of that elite group of 20 percenters that actually achieve their goals.
Christopher L. King is an inspirational speaker, author, Certified Life Coach, and internet radio personality.
Discretionary Effort
Discretionary Effort – that extra effort we give to people, projects and tasks after our required effort has been given. Good leaders are able to tap into other’s discretionary effort. Every job requires a certain amount of effort to complete. Most of us will only give that required amount of effort to complete this job (e.g. – 8 hours of work for our boss each day). This is the required duty, the expected performance, and often times the bare minimum. Our total capacity for effort is usually larger than this “expected” effort. We will give this remaining effort to the people or things that captivate our passions… our loved ones, our hobbies, our interests. Have you ever noticed how you can feel very tired doing a job that that you don’t enjoy, but minutes later when you’re doing something else that’s interesting, fun, engaging you’re suddenly energized. I think of my 8 year old daughter, Audrey. She’s a high energy kid most of her waking hours. However, when it’s time to clean her room, make her bed, pick up her backpack she’s suddenly exhausted and kicks into slow motion whining as she goes. This is exactly what we are like (although we try to hide it better than my 8 year old). Good leaders are able to capitalize on people’s passions. They’re able to align people into what the love to do. They are also able to “sell” their ideas in a way that people want to do it. And, most important, they themselves are the kind of people that others really want to please and support. Even if they don’t enjoy the task, people will give some of their discretionary effort to leaders they respect and enjoy working for.
Salt the Oats
The old saying goes “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” This has been used for years to explain how there’s only so much one can do… the final decision to change still remains with the other person. This obviously is true as I’ve mentioned above. However, I like the adaptation on this old saying… “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. However, you CAN salt the oats.” I’ve found that the most effective leaders are “oat-salters.” They get the desired results from the people they lead by making the new desired outcome so attractive that they WANT to make the change. Or, they lead with such respect and heart that people want to change… simply because they were asked to by their leader. Making people thirsty to do this new thing is what leadership and motivation are all about. The ultimate decision to change is always with the individual. However, as leaders we must remove every barrier to change that we can. We are to both remove the obstacles and make the outcome most desirable.
Motivation
We cannot motivate people. People must motivate themselves. We can only provide a conducive environment that encourages the desired behavior. Coercion is not motivation. When people feel they have no other reasonable choice they are no longer motivated into action. They are now really being “forced” or coerced to the desired action. Of course, they always have a choice, but they may not actually “feel” that way. So the result is the same… de-motivation to continue that action for any length of time.